I carry what most people will never have to carry. Horrible childhood trauma that was never treated. Sexual exploitation that was never addressed. Pain that was left to fester — and from age twelve to twenty-nine, I self-medicated. Weed. Drugs. Whatever numbed the pain nobody was helping me carry. I cycled through a system that punished me instead of treating me. Eight years in prison for distributing weed.
And when I walked out of those doors, I chose to build. Six months after my release — in the heart of the 2008–2012 economic collapse — I started two concrete companies from nothing. While businesses went bankrupt all around me, I built thriving operations. I went on to become a project manager running large-scale commercial concrete projects for some of the biggest general contractors in the DC metro area. I know what it takes to build under impossible conditions — because I’ve done it. Repeatedly.
But all of that professional success was built on a foundation that was rotting underneath. The untreated trauma never went away. It rewired my mind, feeding my unresolved pain a fantasy identity that felt like escape but was a cage. And when the culture said that feeling meant I was really a woman, I believed them.
I walked away from my beautiful wife. I walked away from my sons. I pursued a transition that shattered everything that was ever truly mine. I will regret it for the rest of my life.
That regret is not my weakness. It is my fuel. I am a transgender far-right, anti-Zionist, Israel-critical conspiracy researcher, historian, theologian, and geopolitical analyst — completely contrary to the average trans commentator. I am building this platform because the world needs a voice that does not exist yet, and I am the only one who can be it.